How to Talk to Children About Death
How to Talk to Children About Death
The finality of death can be a difficult topic for many, especially those who are too young to understand the concept of life and death. When a grandparent passes away though, for example, children deserve to be a part of the conversation about it so that they can try to comprehend what is going on and how they might feel about it.
It is natural to speak about death, but can still be tricky. As such, here are some helpful tips on how to talk to children about death that you can try to help the younger members of your family in their time of grieving.
Understanding the Developmental Process
When first thinking about how to talk to children in your family about death, be aware that their current age will affect just how they view the subject. For example, children under five may see death as a temporary thing that doesn't affect them directly, while children between five and nine in age are usually beginning to see the finality of death—but do not yet relate it to themselves.
Children ages nine and up tend to understand and are starting to grasp the idea that death is the final stage in life and that everyone will die someday, which makes the conversation a little easier. Still, some good tips to remember when talking to children are the following:
Be Straight and to the Point
It can be natural to take to phrases such as “our cat went to live with other cats and won't be coming backâ€, but the truth of the matter is the best approach is to be direct and truthful. Giving children a definitive definition of what it means to be dead can help with the grieving process. Mentioning that their heart stops, or they no longer need to breathe, eat, etc. can help provide a clear picture in the child's mind of what is going on and can help them understand what happened.
Be Prepared for Emotions
The next step in the conversation is to address what emotions might pop up during the grieving process. Children need to see that it's okay to feel strong emotions, and need to know that the adults in their life also feel them and are there to help them. Validate any emotions that the child has, and offer healthy ways that they can channel those feelings towards remembering the great things about their loved ones.
Discuss What a Funeral Entails
This can mean talking about the actual process and what will happen during the funeral, but also the social aspect of a funeral. Often, children wouldn't have experienced being at a funeral before and will not know how to behave at one. So, walking them through how to behave or suggesting that they “do as you do†can help. Always mention that they are free to ask you questions during the funeral as well, but to whisper them so that the funeral services can proceed in the meantime. This will allow children to learn more about the process and feel comfortable speaking about it.
If you are looking for a final resting place for your loved one in Pennsylvania, Ohio, Maryland, or North and South Carolina, Life Remembered is available. Reach out to our amazing staff today for more information.
